Bitches and Ho's

Episode 4: The so called feminist movement.
So while I'm at college I decided to strive to make myself a better person. I've been doing a lot of work on myself and one of them that is working well is swearing off calling girls bitches. Sometimes it slips but I don't use it much anymore. But I just wanted to give my view of this whole topic and why I did it in the first place. Though it really pisses me off that I can't call them that because they are sometimes. I often find myself thinking "And they wonder why we call them bitches."
~Andy

So there is a big deal going on right now, a lot of girls my age trying to rally against rappers and rap songs that are demeaning to women. That's one half. They other half is down with it unless they themselves are being called a bitch. One time I went into school with and orange shirt and the home depot logo, but it said "The HO Depot" instead. I thought it was a cool joke. Jordan Garegnani and some other of my friends that were girls said "Nice shirt Andy." But I went to the cafeteria and these girls were looking at my like I was the biggest asshole ever for wearing it. I know these girls well enough to know that they all listen to rap. I heard them saying that if I thought this was a funny joke I was wrong. But they didn't care when Ludacris wore it in the "Holiday Inn" music video. Even Sarah Price's dad found it hilarious. And they wonder why we call them bitches.

Rap music made me do it. Ice Cube has a new song out titled just that, and every chorus he lists off a bunch of different things rap music has made us do. Here are a few from his song:
If I call you a nigga, ain't nothin to it, gangsta rap made me do it.
If I act like a pimp, ain't nothin to it, gangsta rap made me do it.
If I call you a nappy headed ho, headed ho ain't nothin to it, gangsta rap made me do it.
If I call you a bitch, ain't nothin to it, gangsta rap made me do it.
If I fuck up the planet, ain't nothin to it, gangsta rap made me do it.
And so forth. So girls get mad about all of these things pretty much. There is just so much nagging and complaining that comes with it.(I bet female dogs don't liked being called bitches either but what are they gonna do) Yeah I know they see it as degrading, but if they wanna make rap songs and how worthless men our and figure out a name for us, I wouldn't care. Just don't ruin what we have(until 2010 when rap is no longer the main music). And they wonder why we call them bitches.

Look at Hilary Clinton. No wonder Bill looked for fun elsewhere dude, she is a bitch. Some girls just are man, and that's why these girls that are mad about this need to understand we aren't talking about them unless they play into it. Example. If a guy went to a girl, said, "What's up bitch?" If you play along with it, then your a bitch, cause you're playing into the stereotype. If you get pissed at him, your a bitch. If you just walk away, or tell him you don't like to be called that without getting mad, then he is a bitch.

So just in general for being a better person I will stop. I might think it, but I will never disrespect them personally or verbally to anyone. But there out there man, even if it's not you ladies, it's a fact. Its just like with anything else in real life. If you don't like Howard Stern, don't listen to him. If you don't wanna be called a bitch, don't be one. But face it ladies, some of them out there are, so stop defending them to and ruining it for everyone else! And they wonder why we call them bitches(but not me though).

Good Clean Entertainment...?

Episode 3: Gossip
I hope everyone had an awesome Thanksgiving, mine was pretty sweet. Anyways, I guess I'm gonna talk about how I look at gossip. Gossip is pretty horrible. Like, you know you hate when people talk shit or tell secrets, especially if it's about you, and over 90% of the time you wont get to defend yourself. But at the same time I'm strangly addicted to what destroyed my earlier years! I love the action and the moderation. And I've also become kinda paranoid of it because who knows when it will happen again! Anyways, I'll explain what I mean and all that. So heres what I think about gossip!
~Andy

Part 1: Rumors
Alright, this is the worst kind of gossip. A majority of the time it isn't fact, but it wont matter, if whoever gets told wants to believe it they can make others believe it! So of course you all know about the rumor about me being a Stalker in 8th grade. It started as a fake story because this chick really didn't like me and didn't want me to get with her friend(no wonder we call them bitches). But then the story kept getting told and chicks actually started to believe it and tell there friends! And the more I heard about it the more I felt like they were right too >_> Its an interesting thing repetition. Finally I lost that reputation during my 11th grade year, because as I became more well known, everyone was like wow... we were obviously wrong. But its like being in jail for 20 years and being like "Oops sorry we were wrong"... you can't get that time back! Like trying to talk to a girl you don't even know but since they heard this rumor they don't talk to you. They don't even really care if it's true or not. But that's how it works, it's just part of public school life, and if it happens to you.... sorry I don't have any advice. No one will hear you out, so you kinda just have to wait it out.

Part 2: Trust and Don't Start
You always gotta know who to trust if your gonna tell someone a secret. And you gotta look at the chain! For example, I could just say Sarah Price isn't trustworthy. Because if I told her a secret, she would keep it from everyone for me except Kristen... and Kristen is a blabbermouth who will tell everyone :P The best method is to just not start gossip or rumors or shit talking. I did that on my livejournal and you just get owned. And if your a guy, don't even try to start a rumor about a girl, they band together or somethin man. All I'm sayin is don't be the starter or the receiver.

Part 3: The Middleman***
This is my favorite. I get bored sometimes, so I will make it my business to be the middleman in the drama of 2 different sides. This way, I get to hear everything, and therefore it makes me the moderator. I get to decide how much each side gets to hear, and pretty much have full control over who will win or how it gets resolved. Since I'm a nice guy, I reward the side that's nice to me, but usually I will go with the people I think are more logical... cause I hate illogicalness(not a word) and will try to convince them that they are ridiculous. But it's a way I can have a lot of fun and feel like I'm part of something when I don't have to get in any trouble. Sorry guys I like epic battles :P

Part 4: Paranoia
Try not to let people start rumors about you if you can. The more it happens the more paranoid you become of other people when honestly they probably aren't talkin crap. And besides most of the time the rumors just stop you from getting hot girls.

Phew... thought I was gonna go a whole post without mentioning hot girls huh?

The Perils of List Making

Episode 2: What I Want in a Girl
So as some of my readers from 2003 would know... lists are straight up a NO GO. Lists have a lot of problems with them. A Cast List for a play might not contain your name on it. Or in my case a weekly updated list of the hottest girls at the high school. Girls I didn't put on the list might have gotten offended! And list making... that usually involves some type of school work or "To-Do List" of things you don't wanna do. I've always liked making list though, and I'm here to show you they are not all bad!
~Andy

My friend who lives next to me in room 225 named Jay Havens told me if I wanted to find the right girl, I had to make a list of what I wanted in a girl. That way, I can determine better what type of girl to look for so it lasts long, and help you realize some impossible demands on your list which might explain why I'm getting none. So here goes. I'll make the list and analyse each one to determine where the problem is.

What I Want in a Girl
By: Andy Hulme
1)Thinks I'm funny
2)Respects that I like football or likes football
3)Doesn't mind getting there ass handed to them in Mario Party or any other real life minigames such as bowling and putt-putt golf
4)Doesn't mind my occasional false cockyiness
5)Doesn't mind if I occasionally refer to the general populous of girls as "bitches"
6)Looks or acts like Lindsay Gross
7)Doesn't call me or want to chill with me everyday
8)Doesn't mind me playing video games
9)Doesn't mind the way I dress or how it portrays me as Gangsta
10)Either has to like or respect the fact that I like both Rap and Techno music
11)Doesn't mind my friends and introduces me to hers
12)And finally, must enjoy old school activities such as walks or my big one, Picnics.
So lets see what the problem is.

1)Thinks I'm Funny.
That's actually not a big problem. A lot of girls at my college already think I'm really funny. Sometimes there are people that just aren't into my style of humor. Verdict: Highly Possible.

2)Respects that I like football or likes football. Pretty much all girls know how this is going down these days. They know Sunday is out, and a lot of them have actually started liking football themselves. Verdict: Highly Possible.

3)Doesn't mind getting there ass handed to them in Mario Party or any other real life minigames such as bowling and putt-putt golf. Some girls are ok with this but a lot of girls expect you to let them win sometimes even if they tell you otherwise. It's just so hard for me to be bad on purpose! Verdict: Pretty Low.

4)Doesn't mind my occasional false cockiness. It depends on the girl. A majority of them find it funny, I just have to better figure out a way to play that into something real, but a lot of them find it annoying too. Verdict: So-So.

5)Doesn't mind if I occasionally refer to the general populous of girls as "bitches". This isn't my fault. Rap music did this to me. I have yet to meet a girl that is ok with me saying this... but I just feel so cool walking into a room and being like "Whats up bitches?" Or be like "Yeah this bitch did this and that..." Ugh. Verdict: The Anti-Poon

6)Looks or acts like Lindsay Gross. Ok so this is kind of an awkward request. Basically, shes this sophomore girl I know. No, I'm not trying to get with her, but shes really interesting. Not only is there something strangely cute about her, but she is the only person I have ever known in my entire life where I have been unable to find a negative quality. I haven't known her that long, but long enough to have seen or heard about one. Verdict: Pretty Doubtful

7)Doesn't call me or want to chill with me everyday. I want a chill girlfriend, who doesn't ride me all the time. I mean I love her, but I hate the phone, and there are some days I just need to chill out. Many girls are illogical and would see this as "he doesn't wanna hangout with me/he doesn't care about me enough". Verdict: 50-50.

8)Doesn't mind me playing video games. Most girls know we do it. As long as we don't talk about them, it should be straight. But if I wanna play some while shes with me... hopefully that's not a huge problem but for some it is. Verdict: Probable.

9)Doesn't mind the way I dress or how it portrays me as Gangsta. A gangsta guy at my college give me advice. He said "Your clothes are too comfortable." I wear the same colours a lot. I wear South Pole more then I should. It kinda doesn't match me but I like looking nice.
Verdict: Not bad.

10)Either has to like or respect the fact that I like both Rap and Techno music. Ehh. Not a problem. Unless she truly hates the given type of music she'll be ok with it. Verdict: Likely.

11)Doesn't mind my friends and introduces me to hers. My friends are cool. But it's hard to just be thrown into that. And girls usually don't introduce until they are sure they wanna be with the guy, which is messed up. I respect any girl who introduces me to friends asap.
Verdict: Unlikely.

12)And finally, must enjoy old school activities such as walks or my big one, Picnics. Girls say Chivalry is dead, but what a load of shit. Girls don't want it back. Most girls don't want to do this old school stuff and then bitch about not being treated like that. Screw that!
Verdict: Low Possibility.

So this note really helped. I need to stop callin girls bitches, don't be too competitive, lower some standards, and just chill out on the dress and the low call policy. Look out ladies, here I come.... list and all.

Hey, here isn't my address.

I don't believe it has come to the point where I need to write a blog again. But I think it's time, I'm in college now. But instead of writing about events as they happen every weekend or sitting down thinking about all the negitive people and things I encountered a la livejournal..... I'm just gonna write stuff about random topics. It might interest you it might not and it might be about something that happened a few weeks ago or what happened yesterday that brought it up. Anyways, I hope if you have nothing to do you will read this! I don't expect like livejournal readership but I hope someone heres me out.
~Andy

Episode 1: Web Addresses.
When I made this blog, they wanted me to provide an address that my friends could come read the blog. So I said "andyhulme.blogspot.com" and it was taken. It was some other asshole named Andy Hulme who posted twice in August of last year. He played baseball and hated his job. His web address needs to be deleted so I can get it man! And how is there anyone else named Andy Hulme >_>

Next I tried "highrollercasino.blogspot.com" and it was taken. It seemed to be an unnamed casino or group calling out all the "HighRollerCasinos" and advertising loads of casinos and how to gamble and such, so thats legit.

Next I tried "highroller.blogspot.com" and it was taken. Another asshole. His title was "The * Hustler" and was a highschool kid in LA who was apparently living the high life. I mean whatever man. You have a good life, you live in LA, your cool and talk how your bigger then this "High School Drama Bullshit" but your not a highroller. So go take someone elses web address.

Next I tried "Snorlax.blogspot.com" and it was taken. Ok the title was "Snorlax's Sleepy Head Weblog". At first I thought it just some Japanese girl, but as I read further it seemed to turn out to be a sad Japanese kid who wrote depressing stories about his friends and randomly wrote either in another language or just nonsenciale typing at times. He too stopped using his blog in Feburary. So let me be Snorlax damn.

And finally I tried "andyhu1me.blogspot.com" and it worked. Sorry you have to type a 1 instead of an l. It's kinda gay actually. You can thank those guys above me for that.